Confessions of a happy person

Just for clarification and reiteration purposes, I'm going to have longer posts once every other Monday and posts like these I'll refer to as my "mini-posts". ------------------------ Yesterday we wrapped up filming for the short student film I'm in. Funny enough (considering this blog is about mental health), I got the lead part playing a psychiatric nurse at a mental hospital. Since next week's post is going to be about how therapeutic acting is for me, I thought I'd share some pictures :) Accidentally running into the recycling bin, on purpose.  The film is called Inner Secret and I play Hau Tran, Nurse. Filming at the hospital set (it's not a real hospital), My friend Giselle. She's got her "decomposing corpse" make-up on.  Another friend Shelley, getting her mental patient make-up on.  PC: Shelley!

I saw this post being shared on Facebook and the story behind her tattoo was a good reminder for me for why I wanted to start this blog.  She posted it a day before I posted my entry about  the stigmas of mental illness. I thought it was kind of cool and maybe a sign of encouragement from the universe. Cuz I've definitely been having those, "is this a good idea" moments. Here's a picture and the text on the post: Bekah Miles (Dear mom and dad, please don’t kill me over this permanent choice. I want you to hear me out.) Today, I am coming out with something that only few of you know. I am ready to have a conversation about my mental illness. Last year, I was diagnosed with depression. And in all honesty, I believe it was a problem for quite a while before that, but I think it just got worse to the point of hardly functioning. So today, I got this tattoo. I feel that my leg was the best place for the meaning behind it. When everyone else sees it...

I don't blame you for what happened. Maybe you didn't mean to and I probably should've known better. But you can't expect for me to have not been hurt. Just like I can't expect for you to have truly cared about me.

I'm not counting this as a real post.  But it's National Dog Day and we should thank them for helping us maintain our sanity (among other things) so I thought it was relevant to this blog. So here's an old video of my Roxy that always makes me laugh.

Update 11pm: Now that I feel like I've established a foundation for the purpose of this blog, I'm going to stick with posting once every other Monday. Feel free to subscribe by email as well! So until my next post... :) ------------- I know I previously alluded that this post was going to be about my acting but I decided I wanted to talk a little more about why I think we need to have honest and open discussions about mental health issues. ------------- How many times have we looked at someone suffering from an eating disorder and thought, how could they do something like that to themselves? And then go and feel guilty about eating a donut.  How about telling someone suffering from depression that you know, things could be a lot worse? But then let a critical comment bother you all day.  While one is labeled a mental disorder and the other is considered more "normal", both situations are driven by our emotions. And a lot of times, because we judge those tha...

"I would have never guessed you had anxiety issues"  I didn't think I had anxiety issues either. But then I'd have these moments where I felt so overwhelmed, I had to stop what I was doing because my chest tightened, I felt dizzy, and just really wanted to run home and cry in my bed. It'd be over something small and simple too like designing my experiments or learning about a new experimental protocol. Pretty routine stuff for a graduate student in a research lab. I'd leave to take a break and after a half hour, I'd be fine. Sometimes. There was also the obsessing. Over really small things, like I forgot to make some point on a presentation, or... honestly I can't even remember anymore that's how dumb they were. And I always knew that it was a waste of time and that I was getting worked up over nothing... but the over thinking would still last for at least a day. I think we all do this to a certain extent, but for me it got to the point wh...

The Fine Line There's a fine line between Being nice To be popular vs. Liking people Posting a selfie To get likes vs. Happiness in being you Telling people your accomplishments To brag vs. Excitement in reaching a goal Being emotional To get pity vs. Letting yourself be vulnerable. Showing your sexuality To get attention vs. Feeling attractive If the two look the same, how can you tell the difference? The answer is, how do you perceive yourself if you did the same thing

hap·py ˈhapē/ adjective  1. feeling or showing pleasure or contentment. "Melissa came in looking happy and excited"  synonyms: cheerful, cheery, merry, joyful, jovial, jolly, jocular, gleeful, carefree, untroubled, delighted, smiling, beaming, grinning, in good spirits, in a good mood, lighthearted, pleased, contented, content, satisfied, gratified, buoyant, radiant, sunny, blithe, joyous, beatific; My entire life I've always been that "really happy person". The one with the happy-go-lucky attitude, life is good, "Honestly-I-feel-like-shit-but-I'll-be-OK" person. Sometimes I want to be that bitch. Sometimes I want to be that pathetic, crying, girl. Sometimes I want to NOT BE OK.  I don't know which is worse. Being judged for having emotions (assuming I actually care what you think) or not showing how you really feel (because I want to be a positive person).