Confessions of a happy person

It's been two weeks since I officially left my old lab and one week since I've been in Washington. In two more weeks I'll be starting my new post-doctoral position (meaning more research). People have been asking me if I'm excited about graduating and starting my new job.... I think I'm mostly just focusing on relaxing and recover from feeling burnt out as much as I can. No one can ever truly warn you about what adult-hood or graduate school is like, so I think these feelings are just a part of that. I can't really explain what it is I'm feeling, it's just that when I'm done with one thing, I'm on to the next thing on my never-ending checklist called life. I take breaks/vacations and I try to enjoy and stay in the moments, but you just know in the back of your mind that you have something big coming up soon that you have to plan for (new job, getting married, kids, etc). Even during this month off, I have to write a small proposal for w...

Education/career ✅ Graduate high school ✅  Graduate college Choose one or combination: ✅ Spend years w ondering what to do with your life ✅ Question w hy am I putting myself through this much stress ✅ T his is not how I imagined my career to be Graduate school ✅  Find a lab to join ✅  Pass preliminary exam ✅  Graduate school slump/depression/anxiety ✅  Pass advancement  ✅  Defend thesis Planning a wedding ✅ Make guest list ✅  Book venue/ceremony sites ✅  Pick bridal party ✅  Choose a theme ✅  Meltdown/panic attack ✅  Pick wedding colors Settling down ✅  Go on first date ✅  Become exclusive (boyfriend/girlfriend) ✅  Show them how crazy you are Next, only pick one ✅  Scare them away ✅  Get engaged/married

This past year, I have been struggling with figuring out and trying to be the kind of person that I wanted to be.  But being in the country where my parents grew up and surrounded by family reminded me: That I am my mother and father's daughter That I am my parents in ways that I'm sometimes not even aware of And that they really are special and amazing people So if I'm anything like them Then I don't have to worry... That it's not "right" or "wrong"  It just makes sense And it's how I know in my heart that I'll be OK. 

Music used to be a really big part of my life. While other kids were listening to Usher, Destiny's Child, and KC & Jojo I was listening to Mozart, Debussy, and Chopin. I took piano lessons starting from when I was 5 and I quit when I was 16. It was very much a love/hate relationship because I did love playing/performing but I didn't want to put in the time to practice. I guess that's kind of normal with any kid though. I can't remember exactly why I quit. I just remember it was a really frustrating time for me though because I wasn't as good as I wanted to be but I think that was mostly just pressure I was putting on myself.  I've never considered myself a perfectionist but now I think it's more just that I won't openly admit it. I guess how it started was I remember messing up at a Bach Festival when I was 15... somehow my left hand got one measure ahead of my right and this continued for maybe 8 counts and I had to literally pick ...