A stream of consciousness

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I still feel guilt over this blog

My life is pretty good, how is it that I can still be miserable sometimes

Or who am I to think I know any better about how to live life

I just want to say that I get it

And that depression is the evil twin that knows exactly where your weaknesses are and what to say to inflict the most pain

Because it isn't the real you

That the more your evil twin isolates you, the more he/she can make you believe their lies

That there's nothing harder than fighting your own self

Forget war enemies, this enemy is so powerful, it can convince you that you're better off ending your own life

.....

I was in a bad mood for almost two weeks after the election

All I want to say about it is I think it's healthy to feel things. And that everyone has different ways of dealing with it and doing what they think is best. This is part of being human.

.....

I still think about this blog every day

I just don't have this NEED to post anymore

And I have other ways of managing my moods

  1. Like making lists of exactly what I'm going to do at what time and focus on sticking to it so I don't end up overthinking everything
  2. Meditating/praying
  3. And lastly, finding something stupid to be sad/angry about at my boyfriend--explode and cry about it-- then immediately feel guilty and apologize because I know it wasn't really about him.

Even though this still happens fairly frequently, I am in a much better place than I was this time last year.

Because these days, I still have hope and I know that I will be OK.

(I also usually just blame it on grad school!)

.....

Sorry if this was a depressing read during the holidays. Another reason I don't post is because I've been busy with school and life! :) But I'm going to try and commit to posting once a month from now on.

Thanks for reading and have a happy new year!

Comments

  1. AnonymousJanuary 10, 2017 at 2:09 PM

    This was not depressing. It was actually uplifting. The different strategies you listed to manage your mood are neat. In particular, making detailed lists sounds like a good idea. I have a tendency to overthink; as such I really should try that.

    Happy belated new year!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Confessions of a Happy PersonJanuary 11, 2017 at 8:26 PM

    Thanks for commenting!! I really recommend using a planner. I get overwhelmed by how much stuff I have to do and remember and it really helps me manage it. Plus I like crossing things off :)

    ReplyDelete

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