Confessions of a happy person

She tells me these things and says they're secrets she's going to share with only me... That everyone's depressed but they just don't know it That we're all lying to ourselves when we think we're happy That life doesn't get better, it only gets worse Cuz relationships suck Having kids is going to suck Working hard sucks That I'm never going to be content with what I have no matter how hard I try And I see how everyone is struggling with life so I can't help but believe everything she says And when I look in the future, the only thing I'm looking forward to is dying But I have my own secret... That I'm fighting to not listen to her. 

When you feel like you're misunderstood Remember that you are not alone When you feel like you're weak Remember that you were strong enough to let yourself be hurt When you feel like you're not good enough Remember the people who you love no matter what When you feel like you're not a good friend Remember how much you appreciate them When you feel like you're weird, crazy, or different Remember that you share the same birthday as Angelina Jolie (it's a gemini thing)

1. What unconditional love looks like 2. That all puppies who can barely hold in their excitement or freak out all the time will mature and become calm as they get older 3.  That you just need care and understanding when trying to fix any issue 4. That youth is exciting and new, while maturity is dependable and trustworthy. And that you can appreciate both 5. That even though they might not completely understand you... they are still there for you. And that's all you really need  Roxy getting comfy

I made a video blog post! It's a 15 min video where I talk a little about why and how I started this blog as well as reflecting on my life this past year and some of the things that my blog posts were about.  This'll be the last bi-weekly post of the 2015 year because in two weeks I'll be in Taiwan visiting family!  I'll probably still post some small things here and there before I leave and I'll be back in January.  Thanks for reading and hope you guys have a great holiday and a safe new year!!! 

Just an interesting observation I've had. But I still try to come up with posts. I just have a harder time thinking of one. And it makes sense because rather than thinking about life and being in my head all the time (which then becomes a blog post) , I'm busy  living and being present in my life .  But it's hard to tell yourself to stop thinking about things and forcing yourself to be present all the time. Or maybe I'm just really bad at distracting myself and staying focused when I'm busy. Even when I try to think about something else, I'll usually end up thinking about whatever it is that's bothering me again (and I try this about 100 times).  I think it's a mix of both too. That when you're present in your life, you're happier and that when you're happier, you're more present in your life...  I guess the healthy thing is to do the best you can. And to not judge yourself for failing. Because it always just takes som

I had the strangest experience with an anxiety attack today. I was working on my National Institute of Health (NIH) fellowship application (F31) that I was finishing today (it's due tomorrow but it's like college apps where everyone is turning it in and the website will crash). It's basically this government scholarship that funds your tuition and stipend for 2-3 years until you finish.  There's a ton of documents that you have to prepare that cover everything from what kind of equipment and facilities you have access to, to what kind of training you will receive (classes, giving presentations, mentorship), to a 6-page proposal with your preliminary data.  Anyway, I've been working on it for about two weeks, almost non-stop, and I was still working on it all day today. These past two weeks actually weren't that bad. Don't get me wrong, it was A LOT of work but I wasn't too stressed about it. I would just slowly chip away at it and at

Just a little bit of a background story, I auditioned for the Advanced acting class at my studio (the video is below, it's a monologue from Julia Robert's character in My Best Friend's Wedding) But I didn't make it and I was actually REALLY HAPPY ABOUT IT. So I was a little hesitant to whether or not I wanted to advance... But I mean, I had been wanting/planning to as soon as I was eligible. However, these past couple of months working on the scenes I had been given, I really felt like I was beginning to progress in my ability to expand my range and if I moved on into the advanced class I wouldn't get a chance to dig further in this particular direction. I mean, we've seen it all before. Where actors pretty much play the same exact person in everything they do. So the way I've been taught at this studio and the way I approach a new role is to find where do I relate to this character. If they feel a certain way about something and I don't really