Confessions of a happy person

2020 is going to be a landmark year in history, so I thought I'd write a small reflection.  With COVID-19 changing literally everything, I do feel that I am one of the rare lucky people who has thrived during these times. When Washington went into lock down, I was already over 7 months pregnant. Brian and I were both very fortunate to be able to work for home, so we got to spend a lot of quality time together as a couple. And of course once the baby was born, the extra time that we've had to bond as a new family has been so priceless.  As someone who has struggled with anxiety and depressive thoughts before though, I do not take it for granted that I can feel still feel happy and hopeful during times like these. In the back of my mind I'm always worried that I might relapse and have postpartum depression or I won’t be able to handle my anxieties in the future. And I've definitely had a couple of episodes during this last year.  Overall though, I am thankful that I have

Making a sort-of small post since it’s the 5 year anniversary of my blog. I’ve been looking back and have made a list of some highlight posts below.  I don’t post as much and part of that is because I am doing much better these days.  I do think that during the time I was struggling is also the time that I went through the most personal self-growth into who I am now. I feel like personality-wise I perhaps didn’t change that much but instead of being the person I think I “should” be, I’m more of the person that I want to be. Not to say there aren’t things that I think I could do better and I will always be a work-in-progress but I am much more at peace with myself.  I still deal with social anxiety at times and I actively work on letting those negative thoughts go but I’ve come to accept that it’s just a part of who I am. I also feel that I’m much better at recognizing my harmful thought processes and dealing with my feelings. And even on the days where I don’t feel great or like myself

This coming Monday is the 12-week mark of my new baby son, Kai! They call the first 12 weeks the 4th trimester because it’s the transition period for the baby to adjust to being outside the mom’s womb as well as the recovery and adjustment as a mom of a new baby.  We’ve been really blessed during these COVID times as Brian and I have been working from home since mid-March and are getting so much extra bonding time as a family. It's been interesting because having a baby is a big life change in and of itself however, nowadays life seems different for everyone.  Overall, Brian and I are enjoying being new parents and we’re really lucky because Kai is as well behaved as a baby could be. He sleeps at night, rarely fusses and is easily content. I can also see in ways how Brian and I have both grown as individuals and in our relationship so I feel truly blessed.  So I wanted to share my birth story and postpartum depression/anxiety experience (which I’ve been told every mom goes through