Confessions of a happy person

You know that ticking bomb I talked about? Well it blew up on Monday. There was some miscommunication (always) and next thing I know, I'm crying and screaming. And I know this fight is my fault and it's over nothing. Even when I know it's coming, I just can't seem to stop it.  It's like the forecast is saying there's going to be a hurricane and all I can do is take shelter and wait for it to pass. Only this hurricane wrecks my heart, body and soul. Then I'm left with picking up the pieces and I have to just keep going on with my life. And hope that there'll be sun coming soon after.

I've been feeling extra irritable as of late. Between trying to graduate by the end of May, looking for a job, planning the wedding, getting ready to move to Seattle AND looking to buy a house... I know these are all great things and for the most part I am really happy and excited. But it is A LOT of change. And I don't necessary  feel stressed but it always ends up manifesting itself when I'm not expecting it and then I'm wondering why I'm so upset over nothing. So lately, the evil twin has been irritable at the fiance. He's familiar with my tendencies (not that it makes it any easier) and I've been good enough to catch myself and apologize before I go down that spiral...  But I don't feel any better and it feels like it's just a bomb that's waiting to go off. Usually when I'm tired and can't keep it in check. I don't know which is worse, feeling mad or sad all the time ---- UPDATE: Of course, not long after I