Confessions of a happy person

This coming Monday is the 12-week mark of my new baby son, Kai! They call the first 12 weeks the 4th trimester because it’s the transition period for the baby to adjust to being outside the mom’s womb as well as the recovery and adjustment as a mom of a new baby.  We’ve been really blessed during these COVID times as Brian and I have been working from home since mid-March and are getting so much extra bonding time as a family. It's been interesting because having a baby is a big life change in and of itself however, nowadays life seems different for everyone.  Overall, Brian and I are enjoying being new parents and we’re really lucky because Kai is as well behaved as a baby could be. He sleeps at night, rarely fusses and is easily content. I can also see in ways how Brian and I have both grown as individuals and in our relationship so I feel truly blessed.  So I wanted to share my birth story and postpartum depression/anxiety experience (which I’ve been told every mom goe...

I started this blog exactly 4 years ago today! To celebrate, I did a thing! (It wasn't planned on purpose, it just happened) Check out this week's episode of Just Jive podcast where I was a guest and we talk a bit about my blog and self-care! https://open.spotify.com/episode/20NyU4DDGgXg9KgnHNIUd6 Follow them on Instagram & Twitter: @JustJivePod For more tips and tricks:  https://honyinchiu.blogspot.com/2017/02/tips-on-managing-funks.html

It’s been 1 year now since I finished my PhD. After taking a month off, I started a postdoctoral fellow position in Seattle. According to Wikipedia, "In the US, a postdoctoral scholar is an individual holding a doctoral degree who is engaged in mentored research or scholarly training for the purpose of acquiring the professional skills needed to pursue a career path of his or her choosing.” In other words, a postdoc is another training period before starting a “real” job. I like to explain it as being similar to what residency is for medical students. So how has it been one year out of my PhD? I think overall I’ve been fighting a lot of feelings of disillusionment with my career choice/research for a few reasons: Failure- We deal with so much failure in science and research. As humans we’ve come a long way since caveman days but there is an infinite amount that we just don’t know about the universe. Despite our best efforts, 90% of drugs that even make it to the clini...

It’s been a little over 6 months since our wedding day! People keep asking me how married life is going and surprisingly, transitioning into marriage hasn’t felt like a huge change for us. That’s not to say that we have the perfect relationship because we still argue probably almost every day (lol). But overall it just felt like a very natural progression. We had been living together since August (we got married in December) so we had 4 months to adjust before the wedding. I think the first month was definitely the most rough where we both felt a little bit of tension but it wasn’t for any specific reasons. There were a couple of fights because I pretty much do all the cooking and the cleaning and I had a couple of those moments where I was like…. Omg… is it going to be like this THE REST OF MY LIFE I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE BEING HIS MAID!!!??!!!! And then there were a couple big fights about money but it was usually related to wedding stuff. But since then we haven’t had any...

It's been two weeks since I officially left my old lab and one week since I've been in Washington. In two more weeks I'll be starting my new post-doctoral position (meaning more research). People have been asking me if I'm excited about graduating and starting my new job.... I think I'm mostly just focusing on relaxing and recover from feeling burnt out as much as I can. No one can ever truly warn you about what adult-hood or graduate school is like, so I think these feelings are just a part of that. I can't really explain what it is I'm feeling, it's just that when I'm done with one thing, I'm on to the next thing on my never-ending checklist called life. I take breaks/vacations and I try to enjoy and stay in the moments, but you just know in the back of your mind that you have something big coming up soon that you have to plan for (new job, getting married, kids, etc). Even during this month off, I have to write a small proposal for w...

You know that ticking bomb I talked about? Well it blew up on Monday. There was some miscommunication (always) and next thing I know, I'm crying and screaming. And I know this fight is my fault and it's over nothing. Even when I know it's coming, I just can't seem to stop it.  It's like the forecast is saying there's going to be a hurricane and all I can do is take shelter and wait for it to pass. Only this hurricane wrecks my heart, body and soul. Then I'm left with picking up the pieces and I have to just keep going on with my life. And hope that there'll be sun coming soon after.

I've been feeling extra irritable as of late. Between trying to graduate by the end of May, looking for a job, planning the wedding, getting ready to move to Seattle AND looking to buy a house... I know these are all great things and for the most part I am really happy and excited. But it is A LOT of change. And I don't necessary  feel stressed but it always ends up manifesting itself when I'm not expecting it and then I'm wondering why I'm so upset over nothing. So lately, the evil twin has been irritable at the fiance. He's familiar with my tendencies (not that it makes it any easier) and I've been good enough to catch myself and apologize before I go down that spiral...  But I don't feel any better and it feels like it's just a bomb that's waiting to go off. Usually when I'm tired and can't keep it in check. I don't know which is worse, feeling mad or sad all the time ---- UPDATE: Of course, not long after I ...