Tips on managing the "Funks"
I've written posts about what I call my "funks" (depression just sounds too serious for me) before but just to summarize, these are periods of days where I have very low motivation, overthink just about everything, and generally have pretty low self-esteem... along with the physical symptoms of stress too. One way I'll know I'm in a funk is that I'll often feel like I'm on the verge of crying.
I used to have them quite frequently but now not as much. But I'll still have one now and then and it'll catch me off guard. They still suck just as much but I've learned to manage them so that at least they don't get in the way of my life.
Over the past year, I've picked up a list of things I do to manage the funks:
1. The number one most helpful thing in managing my negative thoughts is my planner. It helps me remember and organize the million-and-one things I need to do so I don't feel so overwhelmed. It also helps me stay focused on one thing at a time. I think focusing and staying in the present is the most important thing to helping with overthinking. Because it's usually the past or future that we're overthinking about.
And this helps with all the negative thoughts, not just school-related ones. If I'm feeling bad about myself, the planner helps me focus on getting stuff on my list done (this includes washing dishes, doing laundry, etc.) which makes me feel better afterwards. Writing stuff down just makes it easier for me to get through the day.
(Side note: I use the Passion Planner which I love!)
2. Be patient. I can get frustrated with myself because I didn't do something the way I wanted to, or maybe I'm in a funk and I can't seem to manage it. Just because I can't today, doesn't mean I won't be able to in the future. Another thing is being fine with "good enough" rather than "perfect". You can try for "perfect" next time.
3. I take breaks often but make sure they're scheduled. This means that I have to plan earlier deadlines to give myself enough time so that I'm not freaking out because I procrastinated and now I don't have any time left! I'll usually work for about an hour and then take a break limited to 15 minutes. Once the break is over, back to work.
Another important part to this is breaking up the amount of work in bite-size chunks. And again, be patient with myself. Even if I barely got any work done, as long as I tried the entire time, then I did the most I could. It's normal to go through fluctuations of productivity but I have to go through the low points of struggling first, with things like designing experiments, or organizing my writing ideas, before I can really crank out the work. And the nice thing is, because I've scheduled my deadlines earlier, I can "give up" for that day and try again the next.
On the reverse side, if I'm having a super productive day I'll take more breaks if I want. I'll break the work up into sections and if I speed through the section, I'll still take the break.
4. Know your limits. I don't think continuously pushing myself is all that effective. Personally, I've noticed that I do much better work when I've been well rested and not at the breaking point (if I can avoid it... which is not always the case). When I'm really low in motivation, I give myself 15 minutes. Starting something is always the hardest part. If I started something, and 15 minutes in I still really don't want to do it, then I allow myself to stop. Usually 15 minutes is enough to get me started though.
So far, tips 1-4 have been about making sure I'm not too hard on myself. Which I want to point out is not always a bad thing. I definitely would not have gotten as far as I have in life if I didn't put pressure on myself. But it's a double edge sword and it's hard to predict exactly what will push us over the edge.
5. NOT talking about what's bothering me. Sometimes it does help to talk to friends and get things off my chest. But when I'm in a funk, I'm usually having irrational thoughts and doubts. They can be about anything, school, relationships, work, life, etc. Even though I know that they won't bother me later and that I'm being totally irrational, I can't help but feel worried and down about the negative thoughts. Sometimes I don't even know why something is bothering me so much.
And just from experience, it doesn't usually help to talk about them because I'll just think about it more and usually feel even worse. Of course, that doesn't stop me from talking about what's bothering me sometimes. But I do try not to. If later when I know I'm not just being emotional and it is something important that's bothering me, I'll talk about it then.
What does help is to talk about specific future plans instead. Like, what are we doing next weekend or whatever is coming up.
Another side note, this does not apply to thoughts about hurting yourself or others (Suicide hotline).
When I'm in a funk, I know my emotions are unpredictable which is why I have this list. It's my game plan.
6. Having people who understand what I'm going through. Sometimes being around friends can make the anxiety/overthinking worse for me. So I mean REALLY understand where I don't want/need to talk about anything and just having them around helps. For me, its my family and boyfriend. Even though I'm long distance with my boyfriend, he's super great and will stay on the phone with me to distract me from my thoughts. Sometimes we don't even talk and it just helps knowing he's right there. If I'm having a REALLY bad time I'll drive down to San Diego from Irvine just to stay the night...
7. Going to church. I think we can all agree that there are some universal truths and that everyone reaches similar conclusions but go on different paths getting there. With that being said, I relate to a lot of the messages Christianity preaches and they often remind me that there is a bigger plan and that not everything is in my control. It helps remind me of all the good things in my life and that I'm lucky to have them. It also reminds me that everyone struggles with similar issues.
The rest are just small routine things I do:
8. When I come in to work, I start with a morning coffee and plan my day while I'm drinking it. I'm not allowed to think about anything work related until I've gotten my coffee. It helps me to not stress out while I'm walking in to work.
9. When I'm alone at home I'll turn music or the TV on for background noise or talk to myself.
10. During my funks I can be somewhat irritable and impatient so I'll keep my interactions with people to a minimum
11. I write notes each day of one thing that happened that genuinely made me feel happy and good. I keep them in a box and when I'm feeling down I'll go through and read some of the notes. It helps me stay positive too, because it's a mental exercise for me each day to find something to write about.
12. I'm a scientist, so I like to take data. I mark down in my calendar the days that I'm in a funk and what was bothering me. This helps me keep track and notice improvements.
13. Getting emails and text messages can sometimes trigger my anxiety so I've turned off all my phone notifications for anything besides phone calls. Then I can just check them when I want to and my phone doesn't distract me.
14. Learning to meditate to help let go of those thoughts
An easy method I learned from my acting class is to tap your four index fingers with your thumb one at a time while saying, Sah, Tah, Nah, Mah as you tap each finger. Do this with both hands and you can say them out loud or just to yourself. Take deep breaths and keep repeating until you feel calmer.
15. Recognizing it's just the funk and that it's not me. I don't have to believe all those negative thoughts I have during the funk. They're just thoughts and they will pass and change.
Miscellaneous
16. Coffee. For obvious reasons. But I have to be careful because some coffees can make the anxiety worse (I can't drink Panera's coffee)
17. Pet therapy. Just because they don't understand, doesn't mean they can't be there for you.
18. Having a good crying session at home.
So I think that's about it for things that I do to help me get through the funk. The thing to remember too is, I didn't get better at managing them overnight. This has been a process that's taken me over a year. In fact, I still have days where I'm struggling and probably always will.
But I know I've gotten a lot better, because this past month I had to juggle giving a talk at a conference, reading papers and taking a midterm for my cancer biology graduate level course, writing a review article with my boss, and Friday I just turned in my application for a National Institutes of Health (NIH) fellowship.
Over a year ago, any one of those things would've been enough to stress me out.
I used to have them quite frequently but now not as much. But I'll still have one now and then and it'll catch me off guard. They still suck just as much but I've learned to manage them so that at least they don't get in the way of my life.
Over the past year, I've picked up a list of things I do to manage the funks:
1. The number one most helpful thing in managing my negative thoughts is my planner. It helps me remember and organize the million-and-one things I need to do so I don't feel so overwhelmed. It also helps me stay focused on one thing at a time. I think focusing and staying in the present is the most important thing to helping with overthinking. Because it's usually the past or future that we're overthinking about.
And this helps with all the negative thoughts, not just school-related ones. If I'm feeling bad about myself, the planner helps me focus on getting stuff on my list done (this includes washing dishes, doing laundry, etc.) which makes me feel better afterwards. Writing stuff down just makes it easier for me to get through the day.
(Side note: I use the Passion Planner which I love!)
2. Be patient. I can get frustrated with myself because I didn't do something the way I wanted to, or maybe I'm in a funk and I can't seem to manage it. Just because I can't today, doesn't mean I won't be able to in the future. Another thing is being fine with "good enough" rather than "perfect". You can try for "perfect" next time.
3. I take breaks often but make sure they're scheduled. This means that I have to plan earlier deadlines to give myself enough time so that I'm not freaking out because I procrastinated and now I don't have any time left! I'll usually work for about an hour and then take a break limited to 15 minutes. Once the break is over, back to work.
Another important part to this is breaking up the amount of work in bite-size chunks. And again, be patient with myself. Even if I barely got any work done, as long as I tried the entire time, then I did the most I could. It's normal to go through fluctuations of productivity but I have to go through the low points of struggling first, with things like designing experiments, or organizing my writing ideas, before I can really crank out the work. And the nice thing is, because I've scheduled my deadlines earlier, I can "give up" for that day and try again the next.
On the reverse side, if I'm having a super productive day I'll take more breaks if I want. I'll break the work up into sections and if I speed through the section, I'll still take the break.
4. Know your limits. I don't think continuously pushing myself is all that effective. Personally, I've noticed that I do much better work when I've been well rested and not at the breaking point (if I can avoid it... which is not always the case). When I'm really low in motivation, I give myself 15 minutes. Starting something is always the hardest part. If I started something, and 15 minutes in I still really don't want to do it, then I allow myself to stop. Usually 15 minutes is enough to get me started though.
So far, tips 1-4 have been about making sure I'm not too hard on myself. Which I want to point out is not always a bad thing. I definitely would not have gotten as far as I have in life if I didn't put pressure on myself. But it's a double edge sword and it's hard to predict exactly what will push us over the edge.
5. NOT talking about what's bothering me. Sometimes it does help to talk to friends and get things off my chest. But when I'm in a funk, I'm usually having irrational thoughts and doubts. They can be about anything, school, relationships, work, life, etc. Even though I know that they won't bother me later and that I'm being totally irrational, I can't help but feel worried and down about the negative thoughts. Sometimes I don't even know why something is bothering me so much.
And just from experience, it doesn't usually help to talk about them because I'll just think about it more and usually feel even worse. Of course, that doesn't stop me from talking about what's bothering me sometimes. But I do try not to. If later when I know I'm not just being emotional and it is something important that's bothering me, I'll talk about it then.
What does help is to talk about specific future plans instead. Like, what are we doing next weekend or whatever is coming up.
Another side note, this does not apply to thoughts about hurting yourself or others (Suicide hotline).
When I'm in a funk, I know my emotions are unpredictable which is why I have this list. It's my game plan.
6. Having people who understand what I'm going through. Sometimes being around friends can make the anxiety/overthinking worse for me. So I mean REALLY understand where I don't want/need to talk about anything and just having them around helps. For me, its my family and boyfriend. Even though I'm long distance with my boyfriend, he's super great and will stay on the phone with me to distract me from my thoughts. Sometimes we don't even talk and it just helps knowing he's right there. If I'm having a REALLY bad time I'll drive down to San Diego from Irvine just to stay the night...
7. Going to church. I think we can all agree that there are some universal truths and that everyone reaches similar conclusions but go on different paths getting there. With that being said, I relate to a lot of the messages Christianity preaches and they often remind me that there is a bigger plan and that not everything is in my control. It helps remind me of all the good things in my life and that I'm lucky to have them. It also reminds me that everyone struggles with similar issues.
The rest are just small routine things I do:
8. When I come in to work, I start with a morning coffee and plan my day while I'm drinking it. I'm not allowed to think about anything work related until I've gotten my coffee. It helps me to not stress out while I'm walking in to work.
9. When I'm alone at home I'll turn music or the TV on for background noise or talk to myself.
10. During my funks I can be somewhat irritable and impatient so I'll keep my interactions with people to a minimum
11. I write notes each day of one thing that happened that genuinely made me feel happy and good. I keep them in a box and when I'm feeling down I'll go through and read some of the notes. It helps me stay positive too, because it's a mental exercise for me each day to find something to write about.
12. I'm a scientist, so I like to take data. I mark down in my calendar the days that I'm in a funk and what was bothering me. This helps me keep track and notice improvements.
13. Getting emails and text messages can sometimes trigger my anxiety so I've turned off all my phone notifications for anything besides phone calls. Then I can just check them when I want to and my phone doesn't distract me.
14. Learning to meditate to help let go of those thoughts
An easy method I learned from my acting class is to tap your four index fingers with your thumb one at a time while saying, Sah, Tah, Nah, Mah as you tap each finger. Do this with both hands and you can say them out loud or just to yourself. Take deep breaths and keep repeating until you feel calmer.
15. Recognizing it's just the funk and that it's not me. I don't have to believe all those negative thoughts I have during the funk. They're just thoughts and they will pass and change.
Miscellaneous
16. Coffee. For obvious reasons. But I have to be careful because some coffees can make the anxiety worse (I can't drink Panera's coffee)
17. Pet therapy. Just because they don't understand, doesn't mean they can't be there for you.
18. Having a good crying session at home.
So I think that's about it for things that I do to help me get through the funk. The thing to remember too is, I didn't get better at managing them overnight. This has been a process that's taken me over a year. In fact, I still have days where I'm struggling and probably always will.
But I know I've gotten a lot better, because this past month I had to juggle giving a talk at a conference, reading papers and taking a midterm for my cancer biology graduate level course, writing a review article with my boss, and Friday I just turned in my application for a National Institutes of Health (NIH) fellowship.
Over a year ago, any one of those things would've been enough to stress me out.
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