#foreverbunyin 6 month post

It’s been a little over 6 months since our wedding day!

People keep asking me how married life is going and surprisingly, transitioning into marriage hasn’t felt like a huge change for us. That’s not to say that we have the perfect relationship because we still argue probably almost every day (lol). But overall it just felt like a very natural progression. We had been living together since August (we got married in December) so we had 4 months to adjust before the wedding. I think the first month was definitely the most rough where we both felt a little bit of tension but it wasn’t for any specific reasons.

There were a couple of fights because I pretty much do all the cooking and the cleaning and I had a couple of those moments where I was like…. Omg… is it going to be like this THE REST OF MY LIFE I DON’T KNOW IF I CAN HANDLE BEING HIS MAID!!!??!!!! And then there were a couple big fights about money but it was usually related to wedding stuff.

But since then we haven’t had any issues because cooking and cleaning is actually quite therapeutic for me and I’ve also recently re-evaluated the kind of relationship I want with money (another topic for another post). Plus, Brian will occasionally help out with dishes which is nice and now I’ve noticed he tends to stress more about money than I do. But that might also have to do with the fact that I’m also usually the one managing our money whereas he’s more in the dark about what’s going on.

So a few things that I did learn during this transition:

1. That I’m the one in our relationship that is more particular about how things are managed in the house.

During most of the time we were dating, it was mostly me driving down to San Diego to visit since him and my family were there. So Brian probably came up to Irvine about one weekend a month. Because of that, we spent most of our time in his natural habitat and not that much in mine. Once we moved in together, I was much pickier about how I wanted things because it was my home now too.

2. We both have a tendency to feel like we’re the one that is making more sacrifices.

But I kind of think that’s a good thing because then it means both of us are definitely making sacrifices for the other. And we make them in different areas. Brian is usually sacrificing his need to win an argument and when it comes to spending time and doing things with each other, I will usually go along with what Brian wants to do.

Of course, if you were to hear us talk about it in person, it usually sounds a lot pettier.
Brian’s words: “You’re right and I’m always wrong”
My words: “We always do what you want to do and not what I want to do”

3. It really is never 50/50. Sometimes its 60/40 or 30/70 but it balances out in the end.

Part of the reason that it doesn’t bother me when I’m doing most of the cleaning and cooking is because Brian has gone out of his way to take care of things for me as well. Especially when I get really stressed about something and just don’t have the energy to take care of it.

But overall it’s been really wonderful having someone always there to celebrate both the good and shoulder the bad. I also want to mention, time is just going by way too fast right now.

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This was a post I wrote after the wedding but never got around to posting it.

I wanted to make a list of my top 10 favorite moments from the weekend but ended up with 14.

1. Getting ready with my bridal party and Brian getting up earlier than me because I made him run errands. 
2. Finding that I forgot to take out my other dress from underneath when I was changing into the wedding dress. 
3. Changing into wedding sneakers after the ceremony. 
4. Mrs. Wang dancing with Nick and Jared and then later with Kevin. 
5. The skateboard that the Lebeau’s gave us and the photographer using it to take our wedding ring photos. 
6. My mom double fisting drinks (I only saw pictures after). 
7. My siblings giving speeches at the rehearsal dinner. 
8. My dad’s speech at the wedding and him forgetting his reading glasses 
9. Mrs. Wang stealing Mr. Wangs speech at the rehearsal dinner. 
10. Cami tricking me into drinking a sip of champagne. 
11. How the groomsmen jumped over my veil to give the readings at the church during the ceremony (heard about this after). 
12. 2 year old Eitan remembering me and giving me a fistbump/kiss
13. Uncle Bing not recognizing Justine because of her makeup.  
14. When Aunt Grace said Dorothy could borrow her spandex and we asked her where it was and she goes, “I’m wearing them!” Then proceeded to take them off for Dorothy to wear. 

Everyone keeps saying that I didn't seem stressed out about the wedding so I feel like I have to set the record straight.

There were a couple of times that I did flip out during planning because I was getting stressed out but no one sees them because I take it out on Brian (sorry Brian). So I have to give him a lot of credit for me staying relatively calm. Also, having to graduate/finish my PhD earlier this year which was 10 times more stressful made planning a big party much more fun. I also think Brian and I are similar in the mindset where if we think something is going to be too stressful, we’d rather just not do it if it's not necessary.

Lastly, I think the vendors we had and my day-of-wedding coordinator are the ones to credit everything running perfectly because they were the ones who came up with the schedule and sticking to it. Whereas I literally did not check the time/schedule the entire day and had no idea what was going on really except to follow their lead. Because we had such a big wedding (190 guests) our venue required us to hire a coordinator. Which in retrospect was really smart of them and I'm thankful that they basically made the decision for us of whether or not to hire a professional.

I also need to thank my bridal party. I have a lot of A-type friends.