Another open letter...

-
I wish I could fix everything by telling you how sorry I am

That it's selfish of me to decide what's best for you

Especially after everything I put you through

 But I know my words don't mean sh*t.

And it kills me that I couldn't do just ONE THING AND STAY

When I know you would've done anything for me.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Money Diaries- Birthday party for a 4-year-old

-
Image
After 2.5 years of trying-to-conceive and being unsuccessful, our plan is to continue trying for the rest of this year and if nothing happens we are going to start looking into the process of adoption in 2025.  Because of all this, I've decided this year is going to be my YOLO (you only live once) year and one of the things I wanted to do was to go "all out" in throwing Kai a birthday party.  For this post, I'm making a money diaries for the birthday party. If you're not familiar with money diaries, it's basically people making a detailed description usually about how much they spent in one week. You can read them here. For the party I booked a venue that was basically a glorified McDonald's play area with some extra areas set up for kids to play doctor, go grocery shopping, run a restaurant and their own home kitchen. It came with a private room for 1 hour and 45 minutes.  The number of estimated people ended up being 13 kids (not including 5 babies) and ...
Read more

Month 20 of trying for a second baby

-
Period started this morning. This month was my “break” from trying to conceive (TTC) but of course I could still tell when I was ovulating because of my body signals so we still timed everything correctly. The only real difference was that I drank coffee every day without caring. We saw a fertility specialist in May and all the tests look fine with both me and Brian. The only thing was my thyroid levels were not optimal so I've been on Synthroid for about 3 months now.  I’m taking today much better than I expected, I was actually kind of dreading getting my period and wasn’t sure how I was going to deal. Last month I was pretty depressed for a couple of days and the stress of TTC from the previous two months were definitely starting to take a toll on me. I thought it was my hour-long commute that was causing all the tension in my shoulders and neck but that turned out not to be the case. As soon as I decided to take a break I could feel the tension start to relax. I had picke...
Read more

The fourth trimester

-
Image
This coming Monday is the 12-week mark of my new baby son, Kai! They call the first 12 weeks the 4th trimester because it’s the transition period for the baby to adjust to being outside the mom’s womb as well as the recovery and adjustment as a mom of a new baby.  We’ve been really blessed during these COVID times as Brian and I have been working from home since mid-March and are getting so much extra bonding time as a family. It's been interesting because having a baby is a big life change in and of itself however, nowadays life seems different for everyone.  Overall, Brian and I are enjoying being new parents and we’re really lucky because Kai is as well behaved as a baby could be. He sleeps at night, rarely fusses and is easily content. I can also see in ways how Brian and I have both grown as individuals and in our relationship so I feel truly blessed.  So I wanted to share my birth story and postpartum depression/anxiety experience (which I’ve been told every mom goe...
Read more