Privilege and "Life could be worse"
Today's post is addressing something that has been a little unsettling for me ever since I started this blog and I don't think I knew exactly how to confront it until now.
I come from a well-off family that has loved and supported me my whole life, I'm educated and working on my doctorate at a prestigious school, I make friends easily, and I'm also young, healthy, relatively thin and attractive.
So who the hell am I to be saying that life is so hard?
I'm talking about privilege.
Yes, I do know that life could be a lot worse. But I think it's important to appreciate our lives for what it is, not for what it isn't. And none of it changes the fact that I still have feelings and things that can hurt me.
We all think we can solve each other's problems ("if the poor weren't so lazy" or "you're choosing your unhappiness") but a lot of the times, I don't think it's the problem that's the problem.
What I mean by that is, we don't see all the things that come with the person in addition to the problem. Like all the times we failed, or were rejected, or judged and even though we convince ourselves we're over it, it's still a part of who we are as a person.
Privileged or not, we all struggle with these things. I think the ultimate difference though is the amount of support you get to overcome these problems.
AND LIFE IS REALLY HARD SOMETIMES.
This is something we can all relate to. Which is why I think there was the whole #AllLivesMatter vs #BlackLivesMatter.
What I think the supporters of #AllLivesMatter are trying to say is (besides the obvious, all lives matter) is that life is tough on all of us. But what #BlackLivesMatter is saying is that life is tough enough without having to worry about your skin color.
That relationships are hard enough, without people telling you that you can't be with somebody of your own gender.
That proving yourself is hard enough, without people questioning your abilities because you're a woman.
That loving your body is hard enough, without people saying that you're too fat or not attractive.
That feeling accepted is hard enough, without people reminding you that you're different because of your heritage, beliefs or your accent.
That living is hard enough, without having to worry about money or food.
Life is tough enough without having to constantly struggle with any one or all of these additional factors.
And I think we feel guilty because we can't understand what those struggles are like. But I don't think it's productive to act based off of guilt. It's like saying sorry when you don't really mean it because you're not exactly sure what it is you're sorry for. And while it's totally understandable that those parties may be resentful, we can't change our privilege any more than they can change their circumstances either.
But being privileged, even if I can't completely understand what it's like to not have it and even if I don't agree with everyone's choices, I can appreciate how much harder someone has to work to achieve the same level of happiness and success as I am lucky to have.
Which makes me want to share some of that support that I've been blessed with. Because I believe that support and understanding is all that anybody really wants.
I come from a well-off family that has loved and supported me my whole life, I'm educated and working on my doctorate at a prestigious school, I make friends easily, and I'm also young, healthy, relatively thin and attractive.
So who the hell am I to be saying that life is so hard?
I'm talking about privilege.
Yes, I do know that life could be a lot worse. But I think it's important to appreciate our lives for what it is, not for what it isn't. And none of it changes the fact that I still have feelings and things that can hurt me.
We all think we can solve each other's problems ("if the poor weren't so lazy" or "you're choosing your unhappiness") but a lot of the times, I don't think it's the problem that's the problem.
What I mean by that is, we don't see all the things that come with the person in addition to the problem. Like all the times we failed, or were rejected, or judged and even though we convince ourselves we're over it, it's still a part of who we are as a person.
Privileged or not, we all struggle with these things. I think the ultimate difference though is the amount of support you get to overcome these problems.
AND LIFE IS REALLY HARD SOMETIMES.
This is something we can all relate to. Which is why I think there was the whole #AllLivesMatter vs #BlackLivesMatter.
What I think the supporters of #AllLivesMatter are trying to say is (besides the obvious, all lives matter) is that life is tough on all of us. But what #BlackLivesMatter is saying is that life is tough enough without having to worry about your skin color.
That relationships are hard enough, without people telling you that you can't be with somebody of your own gender.
That proving yourself is hard enough, without people questioning your abilities because you're a woman.
That loving your body is hard enough, without people saying that you're too fat or not attractive.
That feeling accepted is hard enough, without people reminding you that you're different because of your heritage, beliefs or your accent.
That living is hard enough, without having to worry about money or food.
Life is tough enough without having to constantly struggle with any one or all of these additional factors.
And I think we feel guilty because we can't understand what those struggles are like. But I don't think it's productive to act based off of guilt. It's like saying sorry when you don't really mean it because you're not exactly sure what it is you're sorry for. And while it's totally understandable that those parties may be resentful, we can't change our privilege any more than they can change their circumstances either.
But being privileged, even if I can't completely understand what it's like to not have it and even if I don't agree with everyone's choices, I can appreciate how much harder someone has to work to achieve the same level of happiness and success as I am lucky to have.
Which makes me want to share some of that support that I've been blessed with. Because I believe that support and understanding is all that anybody really wants.
Privilege is such a sticky and messy topic and it scares people. So much so that most of the times people tend to avoid it rather than address it. Without discussing it, we can't begin making the changes necessary to equal out the playing field for those who are underprivileged. In the beginning, to be honest, I didn't see the issues with #AllLivesMatter. I thought, yes! All lives do matter. But what I was missing was that fact that society already knows that the lives of those who are privileged matter. They treat them like their lives matter and they have a different set of standards and judgments for them. I just watched this video which I think is relevant and hopefully you would enjoy, but I can't find it right now, so I'll send it to you once I do. lol
ReplyDeleteI'm sure I'll have more to say on this topic once I take our Power, Privilege, and Oppression course, but for now I just want to say thanks for bringing it up and not being afraid to talk about it :)
Thanks for reading Cami!
ReplyDelete"society already knows that the lives of those who are privileged matter"
That's another really great point.
And if you ever want to post something that you learned from your course let me know! I'd love to share it :D